14 Days On Clear Fluids – and Ensure® – Day Two


To half, or half not. That is the question.

60 hours (2.5 days) without solid food.

Coffee without half and half is like a half off sale.  Except instead of half off the price, half the product is gone.  That combination, coffee and half and half,  propels me almost every workday morning to the local gas station (yep, I drink gas station coffee – but I’ll explain soon) where, depending on the market price, (because the price of coffee seems to be tied to the price of gas now) I’ll buy a 20 ounce cup of coffee with a big shot of half and half in it.

Now this isn’t just any gas station coffee, this is gas station coffee with a purpose.  There are no open glass pots here with caked on stuff at the bottom that looks like it came from the La Brea Tar Pits.  There are no open containers of coffee “creamer” that you wonder, how many people have coughed into.  There are no signs over the pot(s) saying, fresh if consumed within three days.  There are no counters where the coffee and creamer stains are used in place of faux marble.  There is no burnt coffee smell that makes you wonder, is it just the coffee or should I call the local fire department?

This is a coffee bar, which has everything except the shots of Bailey’s (and that may be on some other shelf – sad to say).   The bar is at least 15 feet long with multiple extra-large “soft heat” containers that are emptied and refilled so fast, nothing has time to go wrong.  Interspersed among the maybe 8 containers of various coffee blends (original is my choice), are multiple flavor dispensers and, my favorite, the moo cow machine.  The moo cow machine is like and not like a real cow in two ways.  It’s like a cow in that the half and half (yes cows can be genetically bred to produce half and half – just don’t ask for a reference URL) comes out of an utter under the machine.  And like a cow, sometimes the utter is a little off-kilter spraying half on your hand and half in the cup (is that why it’s called half and half?).  The moo cow machine is not like a cow in that you press a button on the machine to tell the cow what “flavor” moo you want in your cup.  There’s no need to yank on the utter to get the cow cranking (and a good thing all those other dirty hands don’t need to touch anything critical).  I can’t tell you how many moo flavors there are, because for me there’s only one button – and that’s the half and half button.

As for the clear fluid diet (remember what this is about?).  Half and half isn’t clear, can’t see through it.  Even in coffee, it doesn’t magically turn clear.  So I suppose it’s not on the diet.  I’d still like to know how Ensure is okay, but half and half isn’t.  So it’s black coffee with a touch of real sugar today.

In case you were wondering, the gas stations with the moo cows are QT.

Things I’m missing day two,  half and half moo.

Twelve days to go.


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